Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize