Small penises have feelings too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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