hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
