I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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