Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize