searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize