If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
