Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
