My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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