The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
