i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
