nut hugger
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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