i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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