ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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