your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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