But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
