Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
