i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
