Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
