this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
