i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize