so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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