The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
