hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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