Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Can you bring me the toilet please
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
