the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
