i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
