this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
