So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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