found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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