Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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