Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
