Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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