After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
