You work out of a Hotel?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
