I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
