i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
