There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize