he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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