You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
