i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
