you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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