is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
