I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
