if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize