so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
