i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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