remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
