I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
