Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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(626): View more from California

They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes

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(907): View more from Alaska

I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"

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(602): View more from Arizona

I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

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(801): View more from Utah

There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.

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(347): View more from New York

Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.

(718): View more from New York

Truth. Respect the hustle.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.

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(719): View more from Colorado

With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.

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