can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
