and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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