genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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