Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
