Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
