This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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