"it" just moved
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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