shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
