Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
