I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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