i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
