I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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