You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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