check it out our google latitudes are spooning
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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