Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
