Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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