carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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