Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
